As I sit with a cup of tea and reflect on our adoption journey so far, I am in awe. I cannot believe that God loves us so much that he chose us to be parents of a boy with such a big heart, a true fighter. Not only did the Holy Spirit move mountains in our hearts emotionally, he entered the hearts of others and led them to help us. It takes a tribe. I want each of you who have helped us emotionally, financially or prayerfully to know you were chosen. We needed you, each and every single one of you. We are allowing the past few months to be used as an alter of remembrance for the months that lie ahead of us. As I tell you about our journey of generosity that we have experienced, I hope you reflect on your own. If you don’t know the capability of God's greatness, find your mountain and allow Him to move it.
April 8th was the day we found our son. His picture resonated this deep desire to do anything to bring him home. Months prior to starting the adoption process we weren’t sure if we were equipped to take care of a child with medical needs however we prayed over every file and asked God to fully place the Spirit in our hearts as we waited. On April 8th we were confident and willing to move forward and do it as fast as the Lord allowed. It has been a powerful journey allowing the Lord to work through other people and help us. I remind myself often that God blessed Sarah with a child at the age of 90, allowed Moses to part the Red Sea, delivered the Israelites an abundance of manna from the sky and saved Daniel from the lions. Wow! Although we serve a God who can do anything, He desperately desires us to rely on Him to make the way.
We were fearful when handing in our application because we knew we needed to come up with at least $30,000 within the next 8 months to bring this boy home. We were however confident that we would use this opportunity to fully surrender to a God that would make this happen. It is promised that the Lord will not leave His children as orphans and He will come to them (John 14:18). Whether you are adopting or generously giving to this cause, you are acting as the hands and feet of Jesus.
I will never forget the first time I felt the Holy Spirit in this process. It was the day before our application fee was due and Hudson and I were driving to the store. We passed our local Starbucks and I remembered that I had a gift card from a dear friend. I pulled in last minute and I got Hudson out of the car. Hudson immediately pointed to an envelope on the floor in the parking lot. As he picked up the envelope with his tiny hands, I started to reach into my bag for the hand sanitizer (naturally so) and he shouted “mommy look”. The envelope was full. I opened the envelope and inside was $200…CASH. Of course $200 is crazy to find on the floor but it was a blessing for so many other reasons. $200 was the exact amount we needed for our application fee and $200 was the amount I have been praying for in the car. I was praying that I would be able to pick up more hours at work to pay that fee. God found another way.
Of course we didn’t always find money on the floor, God provided jobs for us to do. Nanny jobs, mentoring jobs, cleaning jobs, baseball jobs and lots of overtime! I could have never imagined the amount of hours that we would work these past months but God so generosity gave us supernatural energy to persevere. We do not have family close by and Hudson is not in day care so most of the work we do involves Hudson. He began to quickly open his heart to people and places and its been a joy to see. He has spent hours in the car driving daddy to work at 4:30am, he has helped me care for children much younger and older than him and he has shared his home with anyone who walked through our doors. He has been such a big part of our story and we are thankful for God opening so many doors to have him involved.
When Darin was home, I would set up jobs outside our home and I met the most caring individual while helping her clean her home. She encouraged me, inspired me and told me to keep going when I wanted to quit. I would show up at her home broken and feeling defeated. She lifted me up and talked with me while I helped her meal prep and organize her things. I loved that job because I was able to escape my home full of children and paperwork and just be encouraged. I will be forever grateful for my time with her. God knew I needed her and we are now friends.
Another answered prayer was the fear of not being able to take our future son to all of his medical appointments. We have one car and never imagined needing another until we knew the needs our son would require. One week, I remember I was on my knees speaking to God, asking him to take my anxious heart. I needed the courage to stand behind the decision we made to adopt. I realized that I did not have the answers to the common questions that people were asking us. I did not know how we would manage with one car, how Hudson’s emotional little self would be bringing another child into our home, how we would find the money to make this happen. However, I did know that we were not just “called” to adopt, we are commanded to adopt. I needed to surrender those thoughts to Jesus and trust that He would provide. Its easy to say, “trust in God and all will be okay”, it is not that simple. Its a total game changer when you are on your knees, confused at the road ahead and people are asking you questions that remind you of how fast you can be torn to pieces. Looking back, it fills me with joy that our journey was not that simple. I heard Jesus in that moment whisper in a voice of stern love, “daughter put on your armor and be brave”. Trust me, these children need us to be brave, to go and lay down our fear for the sake of their life. It will always be worth it.
Over time, tears of anxiety became tears of joy. Worry let go of its constant grip in my life. I surrendered. That same week I fell to my knees was the same week I received yet another gift of hope. I was at work mentoring a young adult when Darin called with some “news”. He began to tell me that lifelong friends of ours have called and wanted to give us their car! YES, you heard correctly. Ironically (or divinely as my perspective lies) they were buying a new car and wanted to give us the car they no longer needed. They thought of OUR family! God showed up again and we decided to receive the blessing. They knew we only had one car but they did not know our heart was relaying on God to create a way for us. God also used them to open their hearts and receive the blessing of helping us care for our son. Our friends willingly gave us their car and asked for nothing in return. That is not luck, it is God’s favor resting upon us.
Another incredible day for us was when we received money given joyfully by our dear friends. They stepped up and fundraised at work without even asking for our help. They spent time and prayer raising money to help us with upcoming fees. We were in shock (and tears) when they handed us a stack of cash! Family members have blessed us willingly and generously, strangers have written us checks, friends that I have not spoken to in years sent money and I even received the sweetest bracelet that says “faith” the day we found out some challenging news about our adoption. We were gifted a basically new laptop by the same selfless people who wrote us a check that was the exact amount needed for an upcoming fee without even knowing it. That couple were newlyweds and could have used that money for a million other things but they thought about our son before themselves. Starbucks gift cards and countless letters of encouragement filled our mailbox. The first family to ever give us money for our journey knew nothing about our timeline on when our child would come home, we did not even find our son at that point! Without asking a single question, they wrote a check and handed it to us. The check was such a generous amount that Darin and I knew they had to sacrifice comfort in their own life in order to help us in the way they did. They later sent us another check for the same amount. A family we lived with during our baseball days donated the exact amount needed to send in a payment on the exact day the payment was due. Do you want to know what is even crazier? Those friends were originally donating a different amount and God changed their hearts to give more. That family was even welcoming their third child into their life and still gave joyfully. Friends that we call family stepped up and held a garage sale for us in Vegas and raised over $700! They never even told us they were working hard that whole month to raise that money and organize that sale. Our latest blessing was a fundraiser that our Pennsylvania family organized for us. Our family hosted an auction with a real auctioneer that gave up his afternoon to host the event. The community of Mount Joy came together and blessed us while raising awareness for the children across the world that wait for their own parents to run to them and give them a name of hope. Thanks to our Lord that held the hands of many that afternoon, we have a fully funded trip to China. We were also able to raise additional money to help another family that same weekend. Praise God! God is alive in us and His beautiful name deserves all the glory.
If we did not stretch our arms out to a total place of uncertainty, we would have never known the joy that the Lord so specially designed for us. We would have never saw Him work through other people, places and moments where it seemed like things were impossible. Our future son is a blessing to us, we are the lucky ones, we are the ones that need to be thankful that Jesus Christ chose us to share this joy with Him.
I will use these precious times to serve as reminders of God’s great plan for our son. It brings me pleasure to be joyful when there is an abundance and I want to use this as an alter of remembrance when things are complicated. The times we will be sitting in waiting rooms, hospitals and appointments I will meditate on the times when Jesus showed up hard through others. I often think back to the Old Testament when God’s people set up altars to remember important times when they saw God’s faithfulness to them. When God parted the Jordan River for the Israelites to cross, they built an alter of 12 stones which resembled the 12 tribes. These simple alters reminded future generations of God’s faithfulness that allowed them to trust in the plan and way that God created for them. What a beautiful reminder.
I pray this encourages you to rely on Jesus when He is calling you to do more, love more and serve more. We need to love one another so deeply that it may be inconvenient and uncomfortable but I promise it is so worth it. We were designed for so much more than work, vacations, coffee dates and Netflix. We were designed to be called by name and we were chosen to walk in a life so full of faith that we can lay down our fear when our knees hit the floor. “Do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand.” Isaiah 41:10
I look forward to the day I can share the good news with our sweet son. I look forward to the day we get to finally meet him and I will be forever grateful for the hearts that were open to love him even before he came home.